twice.if i did that to u, hw wld u ever feel?u lied twice to me.twice for the same girl.who doesnt know i cant stand ppl who lie to me?it makes mi wonder just hw i can be compared to her.i as yr gf, or rather now once ur gf, can be compareed to her?i apologized for checking ur computer. or rather browsing ur computer.when i saw the chat logs, i saw her name.tt file was big.i tot to myself shld i look at it.i was hesistant.nt hestitant bt very very hestitant. i clicked on it once.i felt guilty.i noe i shldnt be doing this at all.bt i just wanted to prove 1 ting.the ting was tt watever u said, u meant it.i dint really read the contents. i just browsed through the dates.i was disappointed. i rmb clearly last sat, when we quarrelled, u told me u had nt talk to her since 1 mth ago. at that moment. i felt gd.gd tt u respected me.gd tt u understood wat i meant.gd tt u bothered to listen to me. bt when i saw the dates, the times ur talked, my heart just stood still. i was devastated.i closed everyting within 3 minutes.i walked to the tv and stared at it.during tt period, i tot to myself shld i pretend i dunnoe anyting? or shld i just confront you.i didnt know what to do.it really came as a shock.one moment we are so happy.another moment a different story.as u came down frm ur room, u walked straight to the computer room.i sat at the living room.waited for abt 10 mins.dint noe wat u were busy with. or rather i was not bothered. at tt tym, i feel lyk i m invisible to you.soon, u realised my attitude towards u was different. i walked away to cool down.i walked away to clear my mind. as i walked into the com room hearing the song as it is playing, i cannot refrain myself from crying.when i looked at u, my hrt broke.u dint cheat on me, bt the fact tt u lied to mi,it became similar.when u hugged me, my tears just kept flowing.no matter hw hard i tried to hold it back, i cld nt do it.i called jie.nt knowing wat to do, she did nt pick up.i called doon, wanting to ask him to lend me his extra phone.i returned ur phone, took all my things tt were with u, wore my socks and i left.i heard u bang the door. i dint walk back.i just left there straight, without turning my back at all again.i ran down the hill, walked to serangoon mrt.as i hear my mp3, happy memories and flashbacks of us came to me.bt i knew all these were the past. these will nv ever come back anymore.i dried my tears before i met jie, swan they all.well, i guess they could see sumthing within me cos they kept staring at me. i knew u wld nt be gg for tuition. i just know u too well tt nw i seem to be able to read ur mind.as i went to mr teo's tuition alone, cos i wanted a moment of peace,this is the first tym i walked there alone.hw did it feel? it sux bt well, i m gonna get used to it.soon later jie reached tuition and told mi u werent coming.i laughed it off telling her i had expected it.well, tuition was okie. laughed quite abit cos ppl around mi were also laughing at wat mr teo said about mi. lol.it sounded lyk i was quite pathetic.the indian guy sitting beside me kept laughing larh.tt was malu. bt nvm.i just laughed too.tuition was ending soon. u called. as i felt my phone vibrating and saw ur number, i did nt know if i should pick it up.bt i did.i felt tt i should hear just wat u gotta say. i picked up. dint talk much, u just told mi u sent a msg to my other phone.and tata.tt was it. i checked my other phone.when i saw yr msg, i cried.i dropped a few tears and quickly wiped it off. i replied u.as i replied u, i wldnt deny tt my heart felt really pain..as another msg came.i replied 1 last one and dint reply anymore.i continued doing my work. tried to pay no attention to the phone and at 5 40, u called again.it sounded lyk u cried.bt i dunnoe. it seemed we had not much to sae, and ur mum was screaming at the background, i decided to put down the phone.went to eat dinner with jie after tt. had nt much appetite bt just ate alittle..and i came home immediately.gosh.dunnoe wat i m gonna do tmr morning nw.well.i shall try to find ppl to accompany me den.it was actually left for u.bt guess tts nt necesary anymore.
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